Interior, Train, Evening.
Woman gets on. Plump, but attractive. She sits a few seats away. It’s the quiet London commuter train, that passes through Birmingham just after the local one that’s usually packed, so there are plenty of seats.
She obviously doesn’t use this train very often, because the protocol amongst its regulars, is to not use the phone, or if you do, keep your voice down. She takes out her phone -
- ‘HELLO IT'S ME!’
- ‘...’
- ‘KNACKERED. BEEN ON MY HANDS AND KNEES ALL DAY - AND NOT IN THE WAY I LIKE, HA!’
- ‘...’
- ‘BEEN DOING A NO-HANDS MASSAGE.’
- ‘...’
- ‘YEAH, I USE MY TONGUE, HAHA - !’
- ‘...’
- ‘NAH, I USE MY ELBOWS.’
- ‘...’
- ‘YEAH, JUST BEEN TO AN AA MEETING.’
- ‘...’
- ‘GOT A BACK WAX BOOKED. EXTREMELY HIGH END. DON'T KNOW HOW THAT’S GOING TO WORK. A BIT LIKE NICKY CLARKE’S. TWENTY QUID HAIRCUT, FORTY QUID FACIAL MASSAGE. BUT I HAVEN'T SOLD ANYTHING YET, AND YOU KNOW WHAT I’M LIKE WITH SALES.’
- ‘...’
- ‘OH, I WAS ALWAYS BOTHERED.’
- ‘...’
- ‘CHEEKY COW.’
- ‘...’
- - ‘BUT I’M OFF THE POP, NOW.’
- ‘...’
- - ‘NO, I’M GONNA HAVE A UNIFORM, PINK AND BLACK. VERY RETRO.’
- ‘...’
- ‘ANTON KNOWS. MY DAD KNOWS. THAT’S WHAT THEY TEACH YOU IN AA: ONE DRINK IS NEVER ENOUGH. I’VE NEVER HAD JUST ONE DRINK, EVER.’
- ‘...’
- ‘IS SHE LIKE ME?’
- ‘...’
- ‘DOES SHE HAVE PIZZAZZ?’
- ‘...’
- ‘DIDN'T THINK SO. I CAN SMELL PIZZAZZ DOWN THE PHONE.’
- ‘...’
- ‘I CAN SMELL PIZZAZZ.’
- ‘...’
- ‘YEAH.’
- ‘...’
- ‘I CAN SMELL PIZZAZZ DOWN THE PHONE.’
.....................................................................................
You can see from the above example, that just a few minutes of half a dialogue, and the listener’s mind starts to construct a story. It also explains, perhaps, why so many thrillers are set on public transport: People naturally give away huge chunks of exposition, either directly with speech, or more subtly, with body language.
In the examples following this, we will see other stories spun out of the occasionally bizarre public behaviour of total strangers.
We will also explore, in a later episode, what happens when the observer becomes an participant in one of these scenes.
